Let’s face it, dating is hard. Dating in 2017 is especially hard. I’ve been single for a while now, mostly because I’ve chosen to be this way, partly because I’ve not met the right guy just yet. But with so many factors coming into play with modern dating, it’s no wonder why so many girls (and guys to be fair) find it difficult to meet someone and settle down. Here’s why it’s so difficult being single in the noughties.

1. With so many dating apps, we’ve become dispensable. If I don’t capture your attention within the first three seconds of looking on my online dating profile, then you swipe left and off I disappear into the heap of rejects that didn’t fit your standards. No judgement, I’m guilty of doing the same.

2. You feel immense pressure from friends, family and society as a whole when you reach a certain age to find a relationship – or you run the risk of being left on the shelf with dried up eggs. Not only are you looking for your own happiness, you’re also looking just to shut everyone else up. The constant “are you a lesbian” questions are boring. In this modern age, if I were gay then, believe me, I’d be out and proud. But I’m not. So there’s no need to question my sexuality because I’m single.

3. People are shallow. I’m incredibly guilty of posting a picture with a thousand filters just because it boosts my confidence when I get “likes” on social media. And I feel like I have to use these great pictures on dating apps, just to get past the first round of swiping. The scary thing is though when people meet me in real life, I’m pretty sure they’re expecting that flawless filtered face and here I am, just average Joe looking for someone to share my pizza with.

4. You’re either called too damn picky or not picky enough. The older generation loves to remark on how picky you are, but the difference is, when they were young, marriage, kids and keeping a house was pretty much set out for them in their 20s. You met someone, you liked each other, you dated, you got engaged, you got married, you had kids. Simple right? Now you have to contend with guys dating 20 other girls at once, girls being so independent they don’t make time for you and everybody on the hunt for the next best thing because they can.

5. Conflicting advice is fired from every angle. Play the rules, don’t play games, text back, don’t text back too soon. Everyone’s got an opinion on what you’re doing wrong and all you can think of are two words. Bore. Off.

6. Labels seem to freak people out nowadays, which results in a complete fear of commitment. When we were 16, the idea of having an actual boyfriend was amazing. You’d wear his coat, and everyone would know you were his and he was yours. Now? Now people are so scared of the word girlfriend or boyfriend, we’ve become a generation of confused singletons, not really knowing if we’re in a relationship because we’re scared to ask and confirm to him that, yes, as of right now you’re not allowed to have sex with another girl again.

7. It’s also easier to leave a relationship now if you’re even remotely unhappy. If you don’t want to work at something then you don’t, you move on to the next. There are always other options just a swipe away.

8. We expect everything to be instant. We have the world at our fingertips and we expect dating to be the same. A guy hasn’t text you back yet? That’s rude because he was online 30 minutes ago and the message has a blue tick so he’s read it. Never mind the fact that the poor guy is probably having dinner with his family, or out playing football with his friends like he does most Sunday mornings.

9. Which leads me onto my next point of being available online 24/7. I once forgot to reply to a guy’s text message, which I genuinely often do, even to friends and family. It was only when he text me again to say he could see I was on Facebook that I realised one, I’d forgotten to reply, and two, he was a weirdo and needed to be blocked instantly. We spend a large majority of our day online, whether we’re Snapchatting, Instagramming, Tweeting, updating our Facebook status or Whatsapping, which means potential dates have the ability to see what we’re up to most of the time – leaving no room for mystery.

10. Our priorities have changed and with many of us either starting our own businesses, saving for our own place without a partner or generally just living life without giving a second thought to anyone else, finding love has been put on the backburner for a lot of people in this generation. Myself included.

There you have it, ten reasons why dating in 2017 is frankly, really bloody hard. If you’ve already found your lobster like Ross and Rachel did in Friends, then count yourself lucky you don’t have to date in 2017. Cruising on the Single Train like me? I’d love to know if you can relate to any of the above, and leave me a comment below on how you’re finding dating in the midst of swiping, shallowness and high standards.

In case you missed it: How To Stop Being Your Own Worst Frenemy | Honest Thoughts of a Single 30-Something | Welcome To Generation Inappropriate

About the author
Victoria Jackson is the editor of multi-award winning interior design blog Apartment Number 4. Designed to help you create a beautiful home on a budget, Victoria edits the inspirational and showcases the affordable.


  1. YES TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE! I'm exhausted by it, but if I don't get 'out' there whether that's nights out, on dating apps etc then how am I ever going to find my Joe to share pizza with. I'm getting to the point of not being happy for people I like finding someone and settling down, it's mean and I don't like it at all!

    1. I've felt exactly the same and you get angry at yourself for feeling bitter! But dating nowadays is just so hard! And people who having dated in this modern way of dating apps etc don't really understand xxx

  2. I've been single for 2 years and the thought of "getting back out there" and doing the whole dating thing really terrifies me. Maybe I'm not ready yet, I don't know! I am definitely one of those people who's not keen on the 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' label and I cherish my freedom at this current time in my life, but… I also don't want to die alone surrounded by 100's of cats!! I've dabbled in the likes of Tinder. And by dabbling, I mean installing the app, getting matched, get freak out and delete the app. Most people will argue that it's much easier due to having all these apps, but I haven't quite embraced it yet. It's all sooooo complicated! x

    1. It is complicated Sarah! Mainly because people make it that way. You match with someone and then they don't talk back, or you arrange a date and that person looks NOTHING like their picture. It's really hard work 🙂 so for now I'm happy just plodding along and waiting for Mr Right to come find me! xxx

  3. I met my boyfriend just before Tinder became a huge thing so I've never had to deal with that, but all my single friends confirm that it's mostly just a nightmare! Even though I'm in a relationship I still totally relate to the commitmentphobe thing – I'm terrible at taking the 'labels' plunge!
    ~ Kate xx

    1. It's hard isn't it because the moment you put that label on something, it becomes official, which means if anything goes wrong you have to officially break up. And you're officially single again. Which is why labelling a relationship isn't for some people xx

  4. I thank my lucky stars I'm not single now. I don't think I could handle the pressure. And dating apps sound like a nightmare. I was really lucky with my husband. We went on a few dates and then he simply declared one day "You're my girlfriend now". I was like "Oh, ok great". So none of that awkward not knowing where you stand lol.

  5. Oh my. This must be weird seeing a guy complaining about dating but yes dating is pointless nowadays. I'm recently single and its hard to even know where you stand with a woman.

  6. My boyfriend ended our relationship yesterday as he didn’t have feelings for me. It hurts, but fair enough, can’t make him have feelings. But he still wanted to stay in touch and be friends with benefits. He’s 49 and I’m 48. Men seem to never grow up. So tired of getting my heart broken so it’s the single life for me. Again.

  7. Well unfortunately it is the kind of women that we have out there nowadays that make dating so very extremely difficult for many of us good men really looking for a very serious relationship. Most women have really changed since the old days which certainly has a lot to do with it as well.

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