I’ve just been watching a Youtube video about how to create really popular content for your blog and one of the points raised was the give your reader a conclusion, or a useful summary at the end of your posts. Teach them something new, and make them come back for more. Which is ironic really as I’m just about to sit down and potentially ramble on about how I’m feeling, with no conclusion in sight right now.

And what’s even harder is I don’t even know how to project how I’m feeling properly. I might as well start at the beginning. For the past month or so I’ve been feeling a little lost. Not unhappy. But waking up on a morning craving something more. Each day has become like ground hog day and I want change, but here’s where the hard part sets in. I don’t know what I want to change.

I have a lovely flat, great friends and family. I still enjoy my job six years in and I feel like my blog is doing OK for, what is basically, a hobby for now. But there’s something missing. I wake up and I literally crave adventure. I crave more than the mid level emotions I feel now. Hell, I crave something that will give me a roller-coaster of highs and lows. Right now, I’m coasting along in the middle lane of OK-ness. I want more than to feel OK.

I feel like I’ve already had a quarter-life crisis in my 20s – when I upped and moved to London – so I’m not sure why these feelings have suddenly come at me from left field. Maybe it’s because I’m at an age where so many friends are reaching pivotal moments, like buying houses, getting married and having babies? Maybe I’m finally ready to meet someone, after spending many years happy with me, myself and I? Maybe I’m ready to start sharing my life with someone other than Shirley and Audrey the cats? Maybe I need something to shake up my day to day life of going to work, doing the same job I’ve done for six years and coming home to a meal for one (who am I kidding – I cook for two, and eat both portions)?

I’m not expecting adventure or change to turn up on my doorstep (although if change was a tall drink of water with brown eyes and dark hair, then please god let him turn up on my doorstep semi-clothed) – I know it’s my life and it’s up to me to go out there and shake things up. I suppose what I need to do first is work out what it is I want to change.

The reason I’m writing this post now is because I went to the wedding of one of my best friends at university this weekend. I had an amazing time, and if you believe in soul mates then these two really are that personified. But all these feelings came to a head when I got into bed, feet hurting for all the dancing I’d subjected people to on the dance floor. Although the couple in question got married here in the UK, they actually packed up their bags and moved to Australia nearly three years ago. And listening to their tales of adventures together, from living half way across the world, to the amazing life they’ve created over there, made me question if I really was happy with my lot. I’m not saying I’m about to pack a suitcase and go live out my Neighbours fantasy with Harold Bishop, but in the words of Belle from Beauty and the Beast…there must be more than this provincial life?

So here we are at the end of my rambling. I’m sorry there’s no conclusion, I think I just needed to sit here, write and get these thoughts out of my head. I’m hoping potentially there might be some of you that feel the same way as me and can offer me some advice?

I guess I’ve got some thinking to do…

About the author
Victoria is the editor and founder of award-winning interior design blog Apartment Number 4. When she's not scouring Pinterest for the latest in home decor inspiration, she's out shopping trying to recreate the looks herself.


  1. Such a brave post! I never write about personal stuff (I don't think it suits my blog plus my life is really not that interesting lol!) but I think most people can relate with you whether they are single or married. We all go through stages like this. Unfortunately I have no advice but I agree the change needs to come from you. Maybe take a fun trip somewhere. Sometimes a change of scenery helps!
    Pia X

    1. Hey Pia! Sorry for the late reply to this! I've had such a mad month just catching up on these lovely comments now. I always try and write some personal posts, even if it's something tough to write about (my latest post is about weight gain and that was really tough to press publish!) – all I want is for someone to read it and relate to it xxx

  2. Babe, I know where you are coming from. I am the same. The absolute same. Whilst pretty much all my boxes are ticked, I long for something more, bigger & better. I don't know what it is with us all, but it just seems that our generation is conditioned to believe that the grass is always greener on the other side.
    Bee |

    1. We totally are conditioned to believe there's something better out there!! I have a job I've worked my arse off for and a pretty great job at that, a lovely flat, friends and family but there's always a niggling feeling of something missing. Anyway, I'm taking my own advice and I'm making some pretty big changes as we speak 🙂 (which I'm sure I'll be blogging about soon!) xxx

  3. Ah the grass always seems greener. Remember that your projected view of other peoples lives isn't always actually the real thing- just what you perceive it to be. I'm not saying dont go off and do something- just dont compare yourself xx

    1. That's definitely something I fall guilty off my love! Instagram is very easy to leave you feeling deflated and envious! But I know there are things in my life which need to change and it's only recently that I've decided to get off my arse and do something about it. Life's too short 🙂 xxx

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