GENERATION PETER PAN

A beautiful photograph capturing loved ones swapping vows. A pride-filled announcement of a perfect baby born. An excited status about a first house bought. My Facebook timeline is filled with big life changing moments. I’m struggling to decide whether to get a fringe. 

I feel like the world around me is moving at a pace I can’t keep up with and whilst so many of my friends are at the stage in their lives where they’re buying their first house, having a baby or planning a wedding, I’m sat here in my rented flat, with not a penny in my savings, never mind a deposit for a house, an empty womb and no-one in sight who even resembles Mr Right. I’m part of Generation Peter Pan. And you know what?

I’m genuinely happy.

By the time your thirties come around, it’s almost expected  of you that you’ll have a house, or at least be saving to get on the property ladder. You’re expected to know what you want from your career, no doubt have a long term partner, if not already married, and be thinking about kids. I mean, come on, your clock is ticking, right?

But what if you just want to enjoy the now? What if you want to travel and spend your hard earned money on nice holidays? What if you wasted your time on so many losers in your twenties that you’re quite content with your own company until Mr Right For You comes along? 

There are so many pressures on our generation, and whilst your parents may have married in their early twenties and popped out two or three sprogs by the time they were your age, the pressure on them to have a successful career wasn’t the same back then. As a generation we work our arses off to achieve our dreams – and don’t we dream big. Nothing seem unattainable anymore, and I love that my friends and I believe we can do anything. I can say I absolutely worked my arse off over the past ten years to be where I want to be. I have a successful career in publishing, I continue to build this blog and feel like I have accomplished a lot of things career wise in my thirty years on earth. So why am I am still plagued with these questions on a weekly basis?

When are you going to get a boyfriend?


When are you going to buy a house, you can’t rent forever?


Do you want children?

The answer to all the above is, it would be great if you could just mind your own f&*king business

First of all, I was in a relationship for a long time which didn’t go any where. It wasn’t even close to marriage. And on either side of that, I’ve managed to snag some real dicks. And not in the literal sense. So you’ll have to excuse me whilst I take a break from the meat market and enjoy being single. A single woman in her thirties? God forbid, she must have the plague. Alert the church elders at once, she must be burnt at the stake. I am me. Victoria. I do not need another human being to make me whole. When someone comes along who makes me laugh, treats me well and has nice arms (three specifics I’d like), then I’ll think about coming off the market. Until then, I’ll continue to enjoy myself – despite obviously having a body riddled with scales. 

I rent because it’s extremely hard to save for a deposit on single income, plus I really like renting. When my boiler goes, I ring my landlord. If I want my bathroom painting, I ring my landlord. In Europe it’s unusual to buy somewhere – it’s a continent of renters – yet in the UK we seem intent on making getting on the property ladder one of our sole purposes in life. Maybe I want to spend the money I have on living for now. I’m not stupid, I have savings and I do want to own my place one day, but I’m not scrimping and saving to do so. It will happen when it happens.

The last question really bugs me. I find asking people if they’re going to have children one of the rudest questions a person can ask. My sister was told she would be unable to have children – although God worked his magic and now we have the amazing Matilda. But in those dark years where she was happily married yet struggled for the one thing they really wanted, to be asked  by total strangers, when are you going to have children, she would struggle to answer in a civil manner. And FIY, I do want children. Yes, I understand that conception gets harder as we age, but I am thirty years old. I’m not a shrivelled up prune just yet. I think my obviously empty womb will be just fine for another five years yet.

My path might not be the same as my friends. Hell, my path has already taken me on some crazy detours, but it’s my path, with my mistakes to make and my memories to create. No-one else needs to worry about me growing up, I’ll do that in my own time. Here’s to Generation Peter Pan.

About the author
Victoria is the editor and founder of award-winning interior design blog Apartment Number 4. When she's not scouring Pinterest for the latest in home decor inspiration, she's out shopping trying to recreate the looks herself.

8 Comments

  1. Amen and we'll said. I feel you totally! I'm a little younger than you (24 years old). However, I also constantly see people getting engaged, buying their first homes. I want that too, but it's not the right time. I am happy doing my own thing, because I'm busy building FBL Bloggers. I guess everything comes at it's own time..

    http://www.lookwhatigot.co.uk

    1. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment Jess, look at what you're achieving with FBL Bloggers, you don't need to worry about anything else. And at 24 you've got loads of time to achieve what you want to achieve, I decided to stop putting a time limit on things but life doesn't work out how you expects it. If your blog is anything to go by, you'll be massively successful by the time you're my age 🙂

      Vic x

  2. Bloody well said!! I was literally thinking the exact same thing this morning. I just came out of a relationship and it's HARD. I don't want to be looking for my next relationship so I can get married and start popping babies.

    Yes, a bunch of my friends younger than me are already married and popping babies and buying houses and I'm thrilled for them! But I genuinely don't care about these things for myself. Also just because I don't share everything on social media doesn't mean I'm not doing pretty well.

    It's really sad that people ask about your sister having children when she was unable to… I'm guessing that's just the way society is: people like gossip and small talk and one of the things they ask about are relationships, work and family, otherwise sometimes the alternative is to just not talk at all. BUT there are definitely more tactful ways of asking things!

    Here's to us, fellow Peter Pan-er! x

    1. Haha, hello fellow Peter Pan-er! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Social media has a lot to answer for, it's like some people almost hurry these special moments along so they can post something on Facebook and get a lot of likes for it. Keep doing what you're doing lovely!

      Vic x

  3. I love this post! Keep living life on your terms. It's YOURS to live. I 100% agree about the kids question. I think its rude to think that everyone wants children or even can have children. I'm in my 30s, I'm married with no kids, I have a decent career and I rent an apartment. We are content with our lives. It may not be in accordance to what society says is normal but NORMAL is overrated anyway.

    Brittany
    http://creativityarise.com

    1. Normal IS overrated doll, my path has taken so many twists and turns but I'm honestly so happy with the place I'm at now. It's just taken me a while to accept things aren't how I planned them to be when I was a naive 21 year old 🙂

      Vic x

    1. So so true! It's like 3-0 was the big number to aim for and when you're only 21 it seems like ages away! But life very rarely turns out how you planned and sometimes it's best to just let go and see where life carries you 🙂 thank you for taking the time to comment lovely!

      Vic x

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